Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Do Yo Want To Be Made Well?

I went to confession after messing up again on Monday (It's a stress thing, I think). The priest looked me in the eyes and reminded me of the story in the Gospel of John where Jesus askes the man who had been afflicted with his illness for 38 years, "Do you want to be made well?"

What a question! It doesn't seem to be worth asking - but Jesus asks it. Then the priest asked me, "Do you want to be made well?"

He told me to meditate on the story. I left the confessional and cried for twenty minutes. Jesus was asking me if I wanted to be healed of whatever drives me to this ugly act - to my pornography. I responded to Jesus, "yes."

I entrust my wellness to the grace of God.

Monday, April 03, 2006

Can Prayer Really Conquer Pornograpy Addiction?

I went to confession a week ago. The Priest recommended I use meditative prayer to combat my addiction. He said "The only way you'll attain the purity you desire is through meditative prayer like the Rosary."

My pattern of pornography addiction seems to be on a weekly cycle, Mondays are the worst (it used to be Sunday nights). I began praying the Rosary again with its meditation on the Gospel and it's definitely making a difference. My hope & courage are "through the roof!" (don't I sound like some Super Ab Cruncher testimonial?). I even used five decades of the rosary to combat a temptation head on. I had even gone so far as to do a web search on some woman I saw on tv. By this point I would've been toast, but instead I just made my way to my prayer chair and by the time I was done, I had my peace back. I'll keep you updated on this wonder cure for compulsion.