Saturday, November 24, 2007

The 10 Lies Of Disordered Sexual Activity

I thought I would list some of the common lies I hear whispered in my moments of weakness, and their proper response:
  1. I'm incapable of winning this battle. This, of course, is tantamount to waving the white flag. I need to accept the various levels of culpability for my past failures as well as the victory I will achieve by God's grace.
  2. There's nothing I can do about my compulsion. I really need to ask myself "What have I been willing to do to overcome my compulsion?"
  3. I deserve this. I am indeed entitled to enjoy the good of life, but this is just a cheap substitute.
  4. This babe is so... God did not bring this person into existence so I could turn them into an object for my personal gratification.
  5. They want to be objectified. They are made in the image of God and no action on their part can eradicate that, or God's desire for their greatest good. I need to get with God's will for them.
  6. This makes me feel alive. This may get the blood flowing and the synapses popping, but this is just an illusion of life. Real life happens with real human encounters based on the well-being of all parties involved.
  7. No one is getting hurt. What if this were my sister or wife or mother? And what about me? Is this helping me reach my goal of loving with the love of God?
  8. It won't go as far as last time. This is a compulsion that I need to avoid at all costs because at some point I do end up loosing my freedom and my ability to choose. What can I choose now?
  9. It's no big deal. God will forgive me. God is not obliged to forgive me, but does so because he is merciful and loves me. Presumption is a serious sin that hardens my heart. True contrition (sorry over offending God, who is all-good and who didn't deserve my disobedience), not presumption, is what elicits God's mercy.
  10. God made me this way. My proclivity towards sin is because of original sin. Jesus came to set me free from being a slave to sin.


At 9:51 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well. I have slipped again. Though, the latest post, i just read. It has opened my eyes. I think i will print it out and keep it in my wallet with me. Have it with me, make it my top thing to read/remind me on my to-do list at work and home!!

Thanks again!

At 4:20 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

What do I do?

At 3:13 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks for your thoughts with your progress. It is good to see someone struggling with hope and faith. I would love to see your analysis of the method on this site:

At 5:40 AM, Blogger The Struggler said...

I give a big thumbs up to the techniques at As you can see from my posts that I'm a big fan of letting reality dictate my emotional responses (e.g. compulsions). An understanding of the halo effect is important to the recovery of any sexual compulsion.

At 10:07 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

i quit porn / youtube videos for 2 1/2 months, and relationship trouble (of a sexual nature) drove me to view it again. I've had urges for the past two weeks and I just couldn't avoid it. I am ashamed of myself, and can't stand to think what my girlfriend would think of me for being such a failure. I wish I could just summon the strength.

At 12:33 PM, Anonymous On a Sinner's Path of Severence said...

Why are we focusing so much on the objectivity of pureness? Have we asked ourselves why we're struggling so intensely, or more
importantly what we're fighting for? What's your reason? Serving God with our actions and NOT with our hearts is pointless and useless, and it WILL NOT get you into Heaven. You believe it will, read the Bible. It wont.

We MUST LOVE THE LORD WITH ALL OUR HEARTS & "Take up our Cross, daily"! You bet, this pornographic addiction is a compulsion, but it's one that through our LOVE OF Christ, who GIVES us STRENGTH, with the Holy Spirit, our COMFORTER, and in the unwavering love of our Abba Father, WE CAN, AND WILL STAND VICTORIOUS! MOST importantly, we STAND RIGHTEOUS!

Focus not, my brothers, on the fight itself, but on the SEVERANCE TO OUR LORD! YES "TO" NOT "IN". Force yourself to "go take a dump with the GoodBook" and sit on the toilet and read your Bible (Psalms and Proverbs are EXCELLENT Sources of encouragement and understanding). Read until you've gained the strength NOT to succumb to the desire to sin! Seek out Christ with your HEARTS. The REAL Christ. Not what a church says He is. Seek HIS FACE & enjoy HIS STRENGTH! - Stay Strong, brothers! Walk with God!

At 1:19 PM, Blogger The Struggler said...

I think the last comment is the perfect example of a typical heresy. A heresy, according to G.K. Chesterton is a truth blown way out of proportion.

The Bible is very clear about our need to do what we believe. Jesus said of the Pharisees, "Do what they say but do not do as they do..."(Mt 23:2-3). So our friend contradicts the very command of Jesus. What we do very much matters. It is true that we cannot be righteous (just) in our own strength, but to act like it doesn't matter is tantamount to saying that half the Bible is irrelevant. This heresy is widespread, but ask yourself, "What are there so many warnings in scripture regarding behavior (yes, addressed to believers) if it doesn't matter what we do?"

p.s. I'm not sure what "severance (separation) to/in our Lord" means. Sounds like a rousing sermon gone wrong. What I call "itching ear syndrome".


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